By Vageesha Mishra
“Would you still love as much as you do now when I lose my youth?” she asked, staring up at him.
He stared down at her and without once blinking, said, “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to love myself ever again.”
****
Picture – freshmorningquotes
Would you mind if I say I love your writing
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Would you mind if I second Jeni’s comment 😉
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Haha certainly not! Thank you so much☺
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Would you mind if I say you’ve certainly made my day? Thank you so much Jeni☺
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Same here
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😄
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Amazing! Loved it.
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Thank you!☺
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It’s amazing but his reply could be more intense I feel 🤐🤐🤐
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Thank you so much for the suggestion, I struggle to express my feelings into words yar😭
Any suggestion what more could I have added? Would help immensely.
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I’m not so good at English tbh.. I felt something missing in his lines and I mentioned it. Rest seems to be perfect..
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Oh alright. Never mind! Thank you for the suggestion none the less😀
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I love stories like this — short snippets of reality that mean so much for the characters. I always like to ask first: are you open to feedback on your blog? Do you prefer it privately? Let me know and if privately feel free to DM me on Twitter at @WriterNancy — just have a few thoughts on how to make this hit even harder 🙂 ❤
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Thank you! And it would be quite nice to have suggestions on how I can make it better for I’m still struggling to express myself here. So yes you can suggest here, no problems. I love the way you pay attention to details and overall storyline in your posts. Amazing😃
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Great! So the conversation is very powerful with one person being vulnerable enough to ask the question of an unavoidable eventuality (aging) and the other showing the depth of his love. Super powerful. It loses a little traction in the tense changes, though. So I would tighten those up so that you don’t have readers getting confused.
*Would you still love as much as you do now when I lose my youth?* — here you start with would. Would is often used to refer to the present (would you like a cuppa?) but the question is about time/future. Would is also conditional, like if. But it’s not an if. It’s a thing that is going to happen. I think the simple change to “Will” packs more of a punch. Will looks at the thing that is definitely going to happen in the future (will you be at the movie when it starts at 3 pm?)
*Will you still love me as much as you do now when I lose my youth?* — see how the sentence is in complete agreement with itself? Will you… will you what? love me. love me how? as much? as much as when? as much as now… each word leads you to the next and parses the info.
Agreement is tricky but it’s worth playing with because it will keep your reader right in the moment.
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That was very informative Nancy, thanks a ton☺ I see your point here, would keep in mind in future (yep, you can take it as will!)
Thank you for your valuable observation and pointers❤ Means a lot.
Also, wish you a very Happy New Year, Nancy❤
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How about guys part be like, “you are like wine to me, it gives a different taste at different temperatures”.
Just a suggestion!
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Haha I thought you’d say gets better with age. Wow❤ indeed an amazing suggestion. I can try that angle someday! Thanks a lot☺
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I thought of it too but it was quite obvious and the one I suggested, has both the things.
I slanged temperature with the age😁.
It was just a thought😅.
Gustaakhi maaf ho😬
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Arey I said I loved it! Gustaakhi kahan huyi fir?😂
It was awesome Begairath ji!
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Arey it’s good to be on the safer side, no?
People are intolerant these days, you know?😅
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Haha😂..Begairath ji?
I see the irony here😅
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Haha! people are generally touchy about their work, so understand where you’re coming from. But at least you’re taking an interest here and fiction is amazing stuff, different people can have different take on subjects, so all cool here🙌😀
Lol intolerance debate yaad agya😂
Also, I didn’t think about it like that and now I’m laughing hard at the irony part. 😂😂
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Hahaa, that’s why I mentioned about that Intolerance thing:p.
It was a nice read, though!
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😀
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Easy to say but rare are such people who mean it when they say it. But the picture above, it makes me believe that when he said it, he must have meant those words. 😉
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Yes he did Aditi! If he falls out of love for a reason like aging, he’d never be able to forgive himself for being so shallow and pathetic!
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So short and yet so intense, you surely are amazing with those posts :0) I can feel the strong bond between these two just in the spontaneity of her question, a rather profound one really. I too sensed it in his very decisive and ultra immediate answer to her. I can so feel the love between these two and may they indeed age together for ever and ever. I would love that for them ❤
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Thank you so much Belle, your comments make me realise how involved you get while reading posts, which all writers crave all the time. Thank you once again for your wonderful worlds❤❤
Yes, in this uncertain world, he is sure of one thing, his love for her would remain, no matter what.
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beautiful and great written !
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Thanks a lot☺☺
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Happy New Year, friend! May you have a wonderful 2017 🙂
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Thank you so much friend! May you have a wonderful 2017 too. Happy New Year🎇😄
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“will you still need me, will you still feed me, when im 64?” beatles 🙂
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Yes yes I remember that song. I’ll take it that you’re a Beatles fan?!
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I like them. Yes.
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Beautiful.. ❤👍
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Thank you so much😄
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It was a pleasure reading it ❤
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Thank you❤ your dp is so pretty, wow😄
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Thank you … crazy love for coffee ❤😍
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Nice😄
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😉
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Sweeeetly written…👌📝
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Haha! Thank you so very much😃😃
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Your welcome☺
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That’s deep👌❤
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Thank you😁😄
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This is really interesting and i like your writings. Just managed to read a few. Keep writing and updating when a new post comes up 😉
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Thank you so much doodles, means a lot coming from you😄 And yes, I sure would🙌
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Happy blogging 🙂
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Ur writings are so Influencive!read it thrice!
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That is one of the best compliments I’ve got. Thank you so much😄
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Stunning! Cherished it..Beautiful and incredible composed !
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Thank you so so much😄😄
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Superb writing.It touches my heart,Vageesha!
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Reminds me of one of my favourite songs by Lana Del Rey.. ‘Young and Beautiful’
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