Stages of watching a horror film

fullimage_courage

By Vageesha Mishra

Things in Italics describe my thoughts.

***

Finding out about the film

Friend – Have you seen that horror film?

Me – No. (Don’t even intend to, bro!)

***

Luring

Im so bored today. I need some thrill in life. Why do they keep showing the same movies on TV?

Flick

“Hey, isn’t it the same horror film he had mentioned?”

Oh yes.

Should I watch it?

It’s a terrible idea of course. I always do this and regret afterwards. I should find something else to watch.

Although, let’s catch a few glances. I won’t sit through the whole thing anyway!

***

Interest building

Nice.

And I like how it’s a normal story, something on the lines of a thriller. Let’s watch some more.

Is it even a horror film?

How do these guys manage to put up at such sprawling mansions?

Funny how all the wives in these movies are homemakers?!

And it’s always a couple, sometimes with kids and they are all so stupid, lol!

Is it even a horror film?

I’m laughing all the while.

SMH, so predictable.

Knock, knock! Let me tell you why they put me under that genre

Hey, what’s happening?

Oh shoot, what’s that?

No, don’t show the face.

Oh man she is observing the protagonist while she sleeps. That’s some scary stuff, damn.

I’m beginning to feel the creepy and spooky in this but damn how will she make out of this?

Watch at your own risk

“Honey, I’ll be staying the night at the office. Will you be alright alone?”

The heck no.

Protagonist female blessed with everything but common sense – “I’d be okay. Come home soon.”

Are you kidding me?

You’re being haunted and you fine with staying alone?

Seriously who do they make these movies for?

Under five kids?

Go stay at a hotel if there is no one else to give you company.

Damn you, it’s night time again.

Turn off the TV or change the damn channel

Oh My God, she is watching her sleep again.

Hands covering eyes, sound barely making out of the screen, fear gripping every heartbeat, verbal hatred unfolds.

Great she’s up and investigating now.

“Dude leave the house.”

Oh noooooo, she is going down the hallway.

So much darkness.

Don’t

Eeeek

Eeeek

“Are you kidding me? She is going for the basement door?”

“Incoherent mumbles”

Fingers giving out zero visibility.

Let me sneak a peek.

Protagonist screams.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah”

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Run, run. Oh My God, she’s chasing after. Run girl ruuuuuuun!

Dude where’s the evil thing? Where did it go? It’s going to appear from anywhere. I should definitely stop watching.

Aaaaaaahowww My God. That is the scariest face I have seen. Holy moly, it’s sticking to the ceiling. And she is launching herself at the girl. Omg, so scary, shoot, shoot, shoooot! I can’t watch any further, I can’t.

Light watch

I need to watch something happy and holy to shake off fear from my mind. I feel horrible, what even is wrong with me? How can someone make the same mistake again and again. Ow what’s that sound? Ugh, I’ve honestly not seen anything more annoying than you guys from the animal kingdom. Now, cut out your pigeon beats, shoo, away, away, eww, awaaay.

Ah, how nice, Princess Diaries. Forget about the horror stuff yo, that was just a story. Chill now.

After an hour.

Hah! All good.

Mandatory waking up at 2 am that night

Oh my God, why did I wake up at this hour?

Don’t they say it’s the danger time of night?

Shucks damn shucks.

I most certainly shouldn’t have seen that film.

Forcefully shutting eyes, evil face flashes in mind.

Ho no, Ho no. Wow, I’m messing up words too.

What if something is observing me sleep.

Ho noooo, hoooooo nooooo.

Don’t look at the door.

D-o-n-t l-o-o-k a-t t-h-e d-o-o-r

*Glances towards the door*

*Finds nothing*

Heavy sighs.

But wait what if there is something under my bed and when I step down, grabs my feet? I’m not going anywhere till dawn. Nowhere.

Ah chill mind, are you a child?

*Attempts to fall asleep again*

What if something is standing next to me?

Eeeeeeeeeh.

Let me drown myself in these sheets.

AH I’M NEVER EVER WATCHING A HORROR MOVIE AGAIN!

Think of something nice. But what? Oh yes, music, what better?

*Goes for the cellphone*

But wait I’d need my earphones.

*Eyes them lying on the table across from the bed*

Let me get them.

*Sees image of grotesque arm coming out from under the bed and reaching for my foot*

I’m not getting off this bed.

Buzzzzz

Heart skips a beat.

“What? What’s that?

Phone blinking aggressively.

Dear customer, bill dated…

Sone do yaar, raat ko bhi bill payment. Hadd hai, ghar pe insaan nai hai kya tum longo ke? Rakh lo saare paise hamare, sone bhi mat do. (My inner hatred for my service providers takes over fear and I fall asleep after some time with thoughts of unreasonable rates and perils of capitalism in mind!)

Six months later.

Friend – “Have you seen that film?”

The end.

***

By twinkling words

Yeah I know, why does she even do it if that’s how she gets? I’ve been asking myself the same for years now 😦

How’s your scene?!


132 thoughts on “Stages of watching a horror film

  1. I watched The Exorcist one night with my mom. I was 14. The movie ended and I went upstairs to my room. I sat down in my bed and something fell off the wall. I still swear my mother rigged it somehow. I have never run so fast in my life. 🙈

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I’m sorry but I laughed so hard after reading your comment. I might have done the same just to see you run for your life😂😂 all these years and I still couldn’t bring myself to watch that film. Kudos to you for watching it in the first place and daring to go alone upstairs when you were just a teen!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha! Truest and the most entertaining take on horror movies.
    Coincidentally I was watching Annabelle today, and the confusing phase I am going through, I thought of becoming a professional ghost buster. Do you mind joining me?!?

    Anyway,looks like I have missed plenty posts of yours, let me go check.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yay! Thank you so much, Ishan😄😊 I have seen half of that film, baba rey halat kharab hogyi! Lol you’re asking me to be your accomplice in the ghost handling business, didn’t you just read my post?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Which are your favorite horror films? I feel when we are down and out nothing can pick us up like horror because it’s nitpicked and safer compared to existential adventures. The post was funny. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s one way to put it although I kind of agree with you. Thought that was just me!
      You’re asking the wrong person, I’m actually like Courage the cowardly dog, everything scares me😂 besides I never finish them off, leave during the climax! Even your humourous light filled message spooked me out!
      Thank you so much. How’s your experience with them?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL my message spooked you? I am sorry for that. Deep breathing practices and Pranayama might help you gain more courage. My experience has been great. I feel some horror imagery helps us in awakening. Have you heard about The Tibetan Book of Dead? It also uses horror imagery to awaken hidden energies.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Your intentions were deeply pure, no need to apologise. Flickering lights are just too spooky!
        Yeah they do? I anyway need to do them, one more reason! Thank you for the suggestion ☺️
        Hahaha alright, I’m sorry, friend, we’re not on the same page when it comes to awakening your inner spirit😁 I’ve heard about it but you know, the methodology that you mentioned has already dissuaded me against it!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Haahaa…Keep my words Vageesha Horror movies are most funniest except few old hollywood one’s,hindi toh saari comedy😅
    Even i visited many times in search of real horror with friends at one of most haunted place in India Bhangarh during college days( located near to Jaipur),kuch ni mila,no tantrik & no aatma existence it is all in mind.Sab bewkoof banate, i’ve seen priests treating people in temples having some bhutiya saaya but never find them in white saree or doing other magical stuffs that ghost perform in movies.
    So chill and watch movies keeping fear aside..baaki Hanuman Chalisa zindabad😂😂
    Have a great weekend ahead!😇

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Prashant, reality me kyu chale gaye?! Movies se halat kharab hoti hai meri and you’ve reached reality?! Hahahaha but I like the way you described everything, lol I feel kind of more relaxed. Quite a cool perspective! But still far from being as cool as you are, may be some day! Anyway, you too have an awesome weekend ahead. Keep writing☺️😄😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha…lol! If you’ll not get scared, we’ll miss many stories here on your blog..you gave me an idea to post on Bhangarh visit with lovely pics😂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Hahahaha! Don’t worry, all thanks to my weirdness, I have a ton more things to write on! But wait, Oh no😱😱 rest assured, I’m making a comment without actually going through the pictures or the post!!😂😂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I will definately post it but ghost pics nahi hai👻 however as i said before darr toh nahi but funny experience darr ki wajah se hue..its a laugh riot may be i’ll share it too😂😂
        Are you on instagram??

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Hahahaha I can understand! Imagine kuch Kiya hoga nikla kuch. Yeah yeah share funny experience too. No, I’m not telling you, udhar toh pakka you’ve got the pictures from the said place!😂😂

        Like

      5. Yes, i shared few pics on insta.I will try to share the post tommorow as it would be new thing for me to share funny aspects from horrible place.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha!!! Thank you for stopping by twinklingwords. Very well written once again. I enjoyed it a lot reading it.
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    Liked by 2 people

  6. Haha😂😂 Nice 🙂
    I don’t feel scared when I watch horror movies, as I know that those people are just actors and all that is just makeup…. But the real problem occurs when I’m all alone in a dark room at night, because I know that no one else except only real life ghosts can enter through the closed door…😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha that’s a really cool perspective but like you, I lose my mind too when I wake up in the middle of night with this over imaginative brain😂😂 thank you so much for reading and leaving such a wonderful comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Haha! TW! That was truly amazing. Did you speak for all of us?
    So so glad that I am not alone where horror movies are concerned. Not my forte (and you and clearly expressed why). I would not mind watching a silly romantic story that will never be but not horror for the images and all that I can suddenly see and feel in the darkness in the days that follow is another story altogether.
    I once saw a movie which had nothing more than a few strange creatures jumping out of closets and appearing in the behind when you are seeing your reflection. Trust me, I din’t look at a mirror for days and yes I saw so much more than the dark night had for me. 😉
    Loved this one, TW. Thank you for the chuckles 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hahahaha it felt like I was having a conversation with myself while reading this comment! 😂😂 Scenes where one min the person is washing his face and the moment he looks up, there is a reflection in the mirror? Also full sized mirrors. They have scarred me for life! I have had similar experiences like yours, eeek. I’m definitely not fit for horror films. Do you watch thriller films?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My condition is something like that at the moment. This whole controversy about the great actresses death and lots of pictures that are doing its rounds have gotten me to look at every mirror in the bathroom. I dunno why I keep looking behind too to check if anyone is watching. Strange no, for a mother with children who would possible do all this.
        No! I dont as I am such a weakling you know. The husband suggested we go watch ‘PARI’ which is releasing this weekend. I have denied it completely. NO WAY! I will spend the next one month checking under the bed, stop looking at mirrors and looking behind me.
        I hope my children are not listening.
        But is it not nice to have someone who behaves as strange as you do 😉

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Ohho! Definitely found a person like me. You know it is another reason, I try to watch positive stuff as they help flow productive ideas in mind. Horror things basically turn me like you just described in your comment which is I agree hahaha bad since you know there are people (kids in your case and your younger cousins) who look up to you!
        Pari, ahahaha na na, that’s a super scary movie! Yes, no way should be the way in horror films😂😂😂 there are people suggesting that film to me, you know they are just trying to have fun, right? 😏😂

        Liked by 3 people

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