By Vageesha Mishra
Hey there my WP family, it has been long I know which is why this post is essential. Alright so 2017, the most difficult year of my life as my father passed away and over months in the grieving process with all my guards down I skilfully managed to get my heart stuck in a terrible place, only to get it more crushed.
I took my time, time heals all wounds they say. I’m not completely recovered and I don’t expect to be so soon but I did get some answers over time. You know what answers do? They give you hope. So, how could this girl possibly find hope amidst all this? Read on.
You can’t escape – there have been too many days this year when I have felt like running away, I don’t know where, just away from pain, reality, uncertainty, dismay, a strong feeling that there’s no point to life. But that’s it, you cannot. You have to stay in this world, pay for your bad deeds, do good Karma and then hope for the best. As time flew, I got a clearer perspective, if there is no escape and doing things without putting your heart into it is only adding to our woes, I might as well do my duties with more dedication so they don’t end up causing more troubles. Moreover, this life, well if it’s meant for living, why don’t we try to make most of it because when life feels beautiful, nothing can come close to that feeling. We just need to figure out a way to reach there.
You’re an individual first – It’s not enough to be independent financially, as a person, one needs to be as self-sufficient as possible so that in most situations they don’t depend on others for their happiness. And when days turn dark, they can manage to come through which would seem impossible with a weak, overly dependent self. I mean others can do only so much. After a point, it’s on you to make or break your life. It’s not a luxury, it’s imperative to be strong enough physically, emotionally, spiritually if you want to pull yourself up and stay happy. Also, if you want to be there for your kith and kin in addition to keeping them prosperous and happy, you need to be well yourself first.
Find happiness within – Have you ever noticed how soothing a toddler’s giggle feels? It’s carefree and happy because unlike the grown-ups, kids are simple. There is a natural air of happiness in our heart. This feeling helps us find silver lining and joy in everything, the way cold breeze tickles your skin, smell of coffee, a kite up in the sky, your creative creations and so on. This ability suffers heavily as we grow up. Happy people manage to keep this air blowing. That way they find abundant reasons to be cheerful and even when they meet heartbreaks, it’s easier for them to get back on their feet as they know how to stay happy.
Deal with your issues at the earliest – Alright so are you the kind of person who keeps giving someone enough chances while they keep wronging you, so you bottle up all the disappointment and burst out one day? Yeah? Well then, let’s sit together in an intervention having a heart to heart on our embarrassing meltdowns while watching Adam Sandler’s Anger Management. None of this solves anything and sooner or later people will get on your case. This is just one issue, we all deal with a billion, if you don’t address them at the earliest then in a time like this, they’ll take you down with them because normally we have a control over mind which actually goes haywire during tragedies and hard times. It all just makes it one big overwhelming mess.
Family is everything as well as it’s important to cultivate a fulfilling circle – Family should be our first priority because they are indeed the reason we want to stay alive. Also, it’s alright to be an introvert but books and music cannot completely fill that void. We’re human beings after all, we thrive on affection, belongingness and genuine love. Having a small network of friends, relatives other than family won’t harm you. In fact, when you fall, you need some people to catch you. Believe me, life does break even the strongest and at times it becomes impossible to go ahead alone. Over years, we do get to understand who actually cares about us. Make a circle out them. Don’t just socialise, be there for them because they are precious to you. So, when they need you, how can you not help them out?
Help others – Whenever the opportunity arises, try to be of help to someone in whatever capacity you can afford. It could be a valuable advice, some of your time, financial aid, knowledge sharing and the like. Believe me sometimes that small gesture can save a life.
Cut off toxic – You know life’s not a cakewalk in general and sometimes it’s awfully difficult. In between you’re trying to make a small fulfilling world around yourself without bothering anyone helping whoever you can side by side. So, it’s absolutely not selfish to cut off anything that threatens this arrangement. Self-centric people, manipulators, those who can’t be happy for you, negative people, negative/hopeless/depressing thoughts, hate, pain, grudges, depressing movies/books/talks and the like, cut it all off.
Trust your instinct – When your instinct says don’t invest here, listen, don’t take this route, listen, this person will break your heart, listen, it’s wrong, don’t do it, listen. Because most times, that’s your guardian angel’s way of saying, “girl you’re strolling towards a speeding invisible train, get off the tracks now!”
I had been exercising most of these all my life but not completely and these past months made me realise their worth.
Sorry for the long post but it had to be. How is everyone doing? Do me a favour, kindly do not ask about my tragedies, talking about them disturbs the mindset with which I’m trying to movies ahead. I tried not to write about them but realised it was bound to get reflected in my writings. Anyway, if you have any takeaways from 2017 or if you like to add something here, please feel free to do so. Happy Writing folks!!