From the past two years, I’ve been coming across “helpful” people, many of whom only intensified my existing troubles! But like the empathetic person that my parents have conditioned me into since childhood, I can’t even be mad at them for long!
But I can write! So, here’s a list for people who try to be helpful but unfortunately end up doing exactly the opposite even when their intentions are all pure. I’m very tired while writing this list so this might not seem all inclusive which is why your feedbacks will be appreciated greatly.
Here’s how you can be helpful to others and how not to be!
Being a bothersome company – a person could be dealing with the crappiest of situations in life, somehow wading through dark waters and not even asking for your help but you somehow still want to help. Alright, great to that but the least you could do is not make passing statements that can discourage the person by shaking their faith. One wrong statement from you and they can develop severe despair. Shutting up is far better in that case. Also, it’s imperative to be gentle otherwise it’s offending.
Positivity – Kindly spare some positivity for those around too. It’s alright you can’t help, but don’t ask pointless questions either. Instead go over the safest age old approach of giving out positivity. Let me help you with some, “it’s going to be alright.” “Happens with people, don’t worry, have faith, it’s going to be alright.” Even if you’re greatly concerned about them, “why is your problem taking so long to solve?!” is not going to get us anywhere to say the least.
Turning into a liability – Lol! I can write a book on this one but let it be. Turning into a liability instead of being of any help is worst ever. Just apologise and leave in such situations. Other than being brave and wise, that would be help enough.
Distractions – A lot of people like myself need to be treated like it’s all the same in the times of trouble because they are not big sharers and believe in solving their problems on their own. But they’re still human and they too get exhausted, they too want someone to lean on or at least distract them a bit. It very much works like a medicine.
Real contributions – applies to any situation. Working as a team on a project? Helping your parents with something? Giving directions to a person? Wanting to help your neighbour/relative/friend going through tough days? Helping your help with finances or helping yourself take the right path instead of easy one? Basically anything, just ask yourself, how would you have wanted to be helped had you been in that situation and try to extend a bit of that if not all.
Maturity and thoughtfulness – Life is unpredictable, confusing and it gets very difficult for some at times (definitely not talking about just relationship problems here. I don’t deem them any less heartbreaking or difficult but trust me if problems in your love life is your only major problem in life, then my friend you are severely lucky!) Your level of maturity would help to deal with life and would also come to your aid on your mission to helping others! I can’t emphasis enough of what wonders a mature person can do. Also a person who is thoughtful would never hurt you in the process in most cases and would even give some valuable help. PS. Bring me a thoughtful mature guy now and I’ll probably marry him (alright, that’s a little too much but I will have a crush on him for sure!)
PS – Thank you so much for reading, I know I’m not being able to be active here but thank you for bearing with me. I try to check your posts from time to time. See you next time, till then, happy living 🙂