How to be helpful


Hey dear folks, I have been keeping a little busy so haven’t been able to get time for WP.

From the past two years, I’ve been coming across “helpful” people, many of whom only intensified my existing troubles! But like the empathetic person that my parents have conditioned me into since childhood, I can’t even be mad at them for long!

But I can write! So, here’s a list for people who try to be helpful but unfortunately end up doing exactly the opposite even when their intentions are all pure. I’m very tired while writing this list so this might not seem all inclusive which is why your feedbacks will be appreciated greatly.

Here’s how you can be helpful to others and how not to be!

Being a bothersome company – a person could be dealing with the crappiest of situations in life, somehow wading through dark waters and not even asking for your help but you somehow still want to help. Alright, great to that but the least you could do is not make passing statements that can discourage the person by shaking their faith. One wrong statement from you and they can develop severe despair. Shutting up is far better in that case. Also, it’s imperative to be gentle otherwise it’s offending.

Positivity – Kindly spare some positivity for those around too. It’s alright you can’t help, but don’t ask pointless questions either. Instead go over the safest age old approach of giving out positivity. Let me help you with some, “it’s going to be alright.” “Happens with people, don’t worry, have faith, it’s going to be alright.” Even if you’re greatly concerned about them, “why is your problem taking so long to solve?!” is not going to get us anywhere to say the least.

Turning into a liability – Lol! I can write a book on this one but let it be. Turning into a liability instead of being of any help is worst ever. Just apologise and leave in such situations. Other than being brave and wise, that would be help enough.

Distractions – A lot of people like myself need to be treated like it’s all the same in the times of trouble because they are not big sharers and believe in solving their problems on their own. But they’re still human and they too get exhausted, they too want someone to lean on or at least distract them a bit. It very much works like a medicine.

Real contributions – applies to any situation. Working as a team on a project? Helping your parents with something? Giving directions to a person? Wanting to help your neighbour/relative/friend going through tough days? Helping your help with finances or helping yourself take the right path instead of easy one? Basically anything, just ask yourself, how would you have wanted to be helped had you been in that situation and try to extend a bit of that if not all.

Maturity and thoughtfulness – Life is unpredictable, confusing and it gets very difficult for some at times (definitely not talking about just relationship problems here. I don’t deem them any less heartbreaking or difficult but trust me if problems in your love life is your only major problem in life, then my friend you are severely lucky!) Your level of maturity would help to deal with life and would also come to your aid on your mission to helping others! I can’t emphasis enough of what wonders a mature person can do. Also a person who is thoughtful would never hurt you in the process in most cases and would even give some valuable help. PS. Bring me a thoughtful mature guy now and I’ll probably marry him (alright, that’s a little too much but I will have a crush on him for sure!)

PS – Thank you so much for reading, I know I’m not being able to be active here but thank you for bearing with me. I try to check your posts from time to time. See you next time, till then, happy living 🙂

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48 thoughts on “How to be helpful

  1. Bring you a gentle mature guy and you’ll marry him asap eh?? 😜 Pls do share a post on him when you do snare him up (make us all jealous).
    Life is so hectic these days, I would be soo grateful if people were not a hindrance (it’s too much to even ask for help)!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! Got a little carried away I guess😂😂 may be I have dealt with too much fictional romance 💁😂
      Oh so properly worded. Too much hindrance and inconsiderate behaviour because they lack the basic thoughtfulness!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Many actually but most favourite are Darcy – Elizabeth (Pride and Prejudice), Jace – Clary (Super natural book series, some Korean couples, Nathan – Haley (One Tree Hill) etc they are all happy couples because sad love stories are just too much to bear😭😭
        How about you if I may ask?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. P&P are the perennial favourites… You watch quite a few dramas!!
        I might be feeling old and jaded in the romance department. Can’t think of any really… perhaps Jesse and Celine, because they are so real.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes P&P, perhaps set the standards I guess! Don’t worry, I’m like that because fictional romance and motivational stories are more like a necessity for me! You already made a list a while ago and they were amazing❤

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Oh yes, I remember now. If P&P sets a standard, then you should also like Jane Eyre (& Mr Rochester). Or perhaps W&P (War & Peace), where I particularly enjoyed the romance between Natasha Rostov and Pierre Bezukhov, as well as the side story between Nikolai Rostov and Mary Bolkonsky. 🙂

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      5. Yes of course, Jane Eyre is one of my favorites. I even mentioned Rochester’s name in the expectation vs reality post, thinking of Jane’s first meeting with him😂
        Wuthering Heights kept me hooked too but I found it to devilish (though that’s just me!)
        W&P, thank you for reminding me about that. I’m yet to discover their romance! Thanks much, Jolene😄😄

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  2. Hahaha , V sure is quite angry 😂 But you are bang on about the description of self-proclaimed agony aunts and uncles 😆 Your writing style is so quirky and awesome V🙌☺

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    1. Thank you so much AR, it made me happy😄😁
      Umm, not just them. Lol! I was more angry because I try mostly to not ask for help and I didn’t (because I feel like everyone has their own burden to deal with, why bother them more.)

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  3. I hope you are alright dear Twinklingwords ❤ You certainly are in my thoughts ❤ Bearing with you, do please get this idea out of your head, we look forward to your posts no matter when, just when you are ready :0) I actually have been missing you here. I have come across tons of those apparently helpful people, the sort I feel depleted in my own store of energy after spending time around them and seeking time alone to replenish it. I too have been conditioned into an empath so it is imperative we learn to protect ourselves to our best abilities from these sorts of people even if we can't stay mad at them too long :0)

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    1. Hey Belle☺ it’s been so long since I’ve talked to you. You know what, I knew that you’d definitely be the person who’d extend to me the kind of kindness I’m desperately seeking that too by your mere words. Thank you, thank you so very much. Just a few words from you mollified my agitated spirit and I feel better now. Thank you for them once again❤❤
      I miss you so so much and this place too along with Insta, I sure hope Dina is doing well, will visit her soon too.
      And wow! I can’t believe how you wrote my mind with the idea of draining your own energy with their efforts to help you and causing a desperate need to immediately replenish or it feels like you’d perish if I might add.
      The last few lines were really kind and sort of made me happy! I will try to work on it.
      How are you doing?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello dear Twinklingwords, I was so happy to hear from you and been wanting to answer long before but I unexpectedly got caught by life. I am glad that my words could calm your agitated spirit and I do hope peace has found you or you her. I am working on that myself so I know how tricky it can be. I have been missing you here (I just saw you had some new posts, I shall visit as soon as I can) and on Instagram also. I must admit, I feel I have found what I was seeking for on Instagram so I may not be on WP so much but I shall try to follow you my best :0) Dina is doing well, enjoying her lego friends, thank you so much for your lovely thoughts. Hihi, I can believe it now, we are ever so similar and you may indeed add this to my thoughts for I feel the same as well. The last few lines, well I have far from mastered that art, I too need to work on that and quite a lot. I just suspected it would be the same for you and sort of felt like reminding us that we matter and we should as much as we can no longer forget those lines. I send you lots of positive vibes, hugs also if that is alright :0)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey Belle, I’m so glad Insta gave you what you were looking for, wish you more success ❤
        Yes peace is something I am in need of too because this week was the hardest. I lost my dad in battle against cancer. So yeah that’s pretty much what was happening in my life.
        I’m trying to cope up with the loss, will get active on WP again. Of course you can send hugs especially when I’m in need of some especially from kind and beautiful souls like yourself. Sending hugs back.
        Will try to get active on Instagram too. Yeah I wasn’t active here as well so it’s okay. Wishing more happiness for Dina and her world.❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I am so very sorry to hear dear Twinklingwords, I wish I could give you hugs in real life, I certainly am sending you lots of hugs, peace and love your way. Please do not worry about WP or Insta or what not. Just take your time, all the time you need. Words fail me but you are certainly in my thoughts. I lost my mother several years ago in a battle against cancer, so I have been there and I know how it can feel. Take good care of yourself and your loved ones dear Twinklingwords. Dina sends you lots of love too ❤

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      4. I can’t ever believe what I’m reading. I’m so very sorry for your loss too dear Belle. Life can be so cruel at times, is a thought that keeps coming to me and once again did when I read your comment. Sending you hugs too. Thank you for wishing us peace and love. I wish you the same.
        Thank you for somehow being there. You certainly are one of the nicest and strongest girl I have ever known. Glad to have your company.

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  4. hahaha! TW, you seem to be in a mood to have a wild sense of humor! But good to c you after a very long time my friend, seems you have been busy. I hope talking about these ‘helpful soul’ was helpful in the least. Some just have to go out of their way to be a ‘bothersome helper’, hope some of them are reading this and mending their helpful ways.
    Take care, Dearie 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! I’ve missed you! How are you doing?
      Yes actually been keeping busy, missed tons of posts too, will catch up on them.
      Haha yes! I was frustrated to say the least and no dear friend, hardly two or three were of any help. I wish real life had more sensible people like yourself and some more that I have met here.
      Thank you for your kind words once again, they always cheer me up! Take care you too dear friend😄😄

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey! I am good and yes missed you too! Peeked into your space but guessed you were busy untangling yourself from these ‘terrible helpers’. So good to read your work again. Will let you on a tiny secret, just a few like minded souls like ourselves are worthy of being of genuine help, so ignore that tiny lot who we cannot help bothering us with their generous help. Cheer up, dearie 🙂 Happy Sunday and take good care 😀

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