Would you still love me?

Posted on by Vageesha Mishra

By Vageesha Mishra

“Would you still love as much as you do now when I lose my youth?” she asked, staring up at him.

He stared down at her and without once blinking, said, “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to love myself ever again.”

****

Picture – freshmorningquotes

57 thoughts on “Would you still love me?”

  4. I love stories like this — short snippets of reality that mean so much for the characters. I always like to ask first: are you open to feedback on your blog? Do you prefer it privately? Let me know and if privately feel free to DM me on Twitter at @WriterNancy — just have a few thoughts on how to make this hit even harder 🙂 ❤

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    1. Thank you! And it would be quite nice to have suggestions on how I can make it better for I’m still struggling to express myself here. So yes you can suggest here, no problems. I love the way you pay attention to details and overall storyline in your posts. Amazing😃

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      1. Great! So the conversation is very powerful with one person being vulnerable enough to ask the question of an unavoidable eventuality (aging) and the other showing the depth of his love. Super powerful. It loses a little traction in the tense changes, though. So I would tighten those up so that you don’t have readers getting confused.

        *Would you still love as much as you do now when I lose my youth?* — here you start with would. Would is often used to refer to the present (would you like a cuppa?) but the question is about time/future. Would is also conditional, like if. But it’s not an if. It’s a thing that is going to happen. I think the simple change to “Will” packs more of a punch. Will looks at the thing that is definitely going to happen in the future (will you be at the movie when it starts at 3 pm?)

        *Will you still love me as much as you do now when I lose my youth?* — see how the sentence is in complete agreement with itself? Will you… will you what? love me. love me how? as much? as much as when? as much as now… each word leads you to the next and parses the info.

        Agreement is tricky but it’s worth playing with because it will keep your reader right in the moment.

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      2. That was very informative Nancy, thanks a ton☺ I see your point here, would keep in mind in future (yep, you can take it as will!)
        Thank you for your valuable observation and pointers❤ Means a lot.
        Also, wish you a very Happy New Year, Nancy❤

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      5. Haha! people are generally touchy about their work, so understand where you’re coming from. But at least you’re taking an interest here and fiction is amazing stuff, different people can have different take on subjects, so all cool here🙌😀
        Lol intolerance debate yaad agya😂
        Also, I didn’t think about it like that and now I’m laughing hard at the irony part. 😂😂

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  7. So short and yet so intense, you surely are amazing with those posts :0) I can feel the strong bond between these two just in the spontaneity of her question, a rather profound one really. I too sensed it in his very decisive and ultra immediate answer to her. I can so feel the love between these two and may they indeed age together for ever and ever. I would love that for them ❤

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    1. Thank you so much Belle, your comments make me realise how involved you get while reading posts, which all writers crave all the time. Thank you once again for your wonderful worlds❤❤
      Yes, in this uncertain world, he is sure of one thing, his love for her would remain, no matter what.

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